Water Jokes & Quotes

Water Jokes

A minister is driving down to New York to see a show and he’’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.” The sheriff says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, “Good Lord, He’’s done it again!”

God got quite annoyed at this and said that all engineers belong in heaven not hell. Satan said, “Well some people who had once been engineers, had become managers instead and had slipped your net, but they still knew enough about engineering to do some good”.

NOT HAVING A SOURCE OF SAFE DRINKING WATER IN AN EMERGENCY IS NO JOKE.
GET A BERKEY WATER FILTER FOR YOUR HOME

Water Quotes

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain, US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 – 1910)

Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.
Arthur Stringer, “The Silver Poppy”

Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital.
Kelly Barton

A man may well bring a horse to the water but he cannot make him drink.
John Heywood, English dramatist & epigrammist (1497 – 1580)

[Water is] the only drink for a wise man.
Henry David Thoreau, US Transcendentalist author (1817 – 1862)

When you drink the water, remember the spring.
Chinese Proverb

The Health Benefits Of Water Section

Keeping ourselves fit and in good health requires some effort on our part. Reading about the health benefits of water can give you important information and the motivation to pay more attention to the role water plays in keeping us fit.

ONE OF THE MAJOR HEALTH BENEFITS OF WATER: KEEPING US FROM BECOMING A PILE OF DUST ON THE FLOOR

Waters Functions as an Incredible Solvent
Water is an incredible solvent. It will, over time, dissolve or aid in change of the composition of almost everything, including all those elements that make up our bodies. All the food we take in; vitamins, minerals and other nutrients that build and maintain our bodies have to be dissolved and moved to the cells. Putting those ingredients in a form that can be absorbed by the cells is one of the health benefits of water.

It Helps You to Keep Keeping On
One of waters function in the body is to aid in the regulation of the bodily functions. Every chemical and enzymatic reaction that occurs in the body occurs in the presence of water and would not occur without it. The efficiency with which they occur is often a function of the amount of water available.

It Keeps Your Inner Fire Burning:
Metabolism is the means by which the food we consume is turned into energy. Digestion is the first chemical process that takes place. It prepares the nutrients in the food to be absorbed by the body and transformed into energy. Adequate water intake is essential to maintain both good digestion and a healthy metabolism. The health benefit of water is better utilization of the nutrients you consume resulting in more enegy.

Water Ways – Transportation In, About and Out Again
Water functions as a means of transportation.
Like water in the environment, water is our body’s primary means of delivering what we need and removing or recycling what we don’t. Nutrients, hormones, oxygen, and antibodies are carried through the lymphatic system and blood stream by water.

SOME OF THE WAYS WATERS FUNCTIONS TO KEEP US HEALTHY:

The Health Benefits of Water: Our Internal Organs:

• Our kidneys are designed to remove waste from our bodies. The kidneys help to flush toxins such as uric acid, urea and lactic acid the kidneys out of our blood stream. These toxins can make us feel unwell and sluggish. They can also put a harmful burden on the other systems in the body. Adequate water intake lessens the burden on your kidneys keeping us “pollution free”.
• Water can help prevent kidney stones and reduce your chance of getting bladder, kidney or urinary track infections
• Water functions to keep our liver healthy.
• Researchers at the Loma Linda University in California studied more than 20,000 healthy men and women and found that people who drank more than 5 glasses of water a day are less likely to die from a heart attack than people who drink less than two.
• The Body will look everywhere to meet its need for water. If you are dehydrated, it will pull water out of the colon making stools dry and hard. Adequate hydration helps keep water in the body and thus in the stool.
  Preventing constipation may be as simple as drinking plenty of fluids. By adding fluid to the colon and bulk to the stool, bowel movements are softer and easier to pass.
• One study found that women who drank more than five glasses of water a day had a risk of colon cancer 45% less than those that drank less than two.
• Perspiration is the bodies natural mechanism to control body temperature. To sweat properly you need plenty of water.
• The body, like any mechanical device, has parts that, without protection and lubrication, would destroy each other. Instead of rubber mounts, motor oil and grease, our bodies have joints protected by cartilage and lubricated by water based liquids. Keeping you car well lubricated and your body well hydrated and they will both run smoother and give you more mileage.
• The water in your spinal discs is an essential supporting mechanism. Your spine supports 75% of your bodies weight. It’s a hydraulic device so keep it hydrated.

Water on the Brain – It’s a good thing.

• Well, maybe not on the brain but it is certainly influential in keeping the brain functioning properly and that’s a good thing.
• 85% of the brains tissue is water. Weighing in at about 1/50th of the total weight of the body it uses 1/20th of the bodies blood supply.
• Studies have shown that dehydration can be a key element in causing headaches and migraines.
• Studies also link dehydration to chronic fatigue syndrome and depression.

Health benefits if you’re sick:

• The old saying to “drink plenty of fluids” when you are sick still holds true.
• Water can help you control fever, replace lost fluids and thin our mucus.

WHAT ABOUT BAD WATER

Water can also bring disease to our bodies in the form of toxic chemicals and water-borne pathogens. Although not a primary means of transportation for viruses, water can at times be a source of viral pathogens.
To find out who is contaminating water supplies and how they are doing it go to this page on water contamination. (hyperlink to Water Contamination Sources page)

SOME EXTREMELY GOOD SOLUTIONS TO THE THREAT OF WATER-BORNE CONTAMINATION

The water your drink may not be as safe as you think.
We’ve found that the most efficient, cost effective, low maintenance, longest lasting system of water treatment is a gravity fed water purification system.. It’s what we use and recommend for you and your loved ones.

Coffee Connoisseurs

Whether sipped for pleasure at home or in a coffee shop, or guzzled on a coffee break at work, the taste of your coffee is directly related to the purity of the water you use. Hard water from your tap contains chlorine, iron, and other chemicals that will taint the taste of your coffee. Pure water has to taste or odor, so it can”t pass any taste or odor on to your coffee, leaving you to enjoy the pure essence of the bean.

The coffee cult is growing, and coffee lovers are demanding a higher quality experience. According to Starbucks coffee, “A cup of coffee is 98 percent water. So the water you use to make coffee should taste clean, fresh, and free of impurities. Water heated to just offthe boil (90 to 96 C) is perfect for extracting the coffee’’s full range of flavors. Any cooler and the water can”t adequately do the job. Clean water = Better coffee.”

Water quality is so important to coffee quality that some manufacturers have come out with a coffee maker water filter, such as the Braun Coffee maker water filter, or the Cuisinart coffee water filter, or the Mr. Coffee water filter. But you have to continually purchase another replacement water filter, and you can”t be certain which harmful elements the filter is removing.

You don”t need to worry about that if you use water filtered by your Big Berkey or British Berkefeld product. Just set it up on your coffee table next to your coffee grinder, fill it with cool water from your tap, and use it whenever you feel the need for a great cup of hot coffee or expresso.

Pure water isn”t just better for your coffee, it also saves you time and money by reducing the amount of wear and tear on your coffee brewing equipment. Unfiltered water may leave lime deposits on the inside of the brewer.

To get clean water you can either buy distilled water at the store or use a water filtering device. Some of the newer automatic drip coffee makers have filters built in with replacement filters easily available.